I am a 40-something, independent, liberal, California, single mother and grandmother, four children and I work Parents in the Movement. This surprises some. They must be wondering why I'm champion of the men if it is true that "the parents seeking custody, are not all great fathers. "It was the truth according to Mira Fox, who directs the contras Child Abuse Solutions, Inc. to declare, in May against AB 1307, Bill California shared parenting. shared parenting (joint physical custody), and this bill with the support of professionals in the fields of health law, medical organizations and mental health and family rights, veterans groups and individuals throughout California. People across the country and the world has applauded efforts for children, and I was proud to be in Sacramento that day. Fox witness saw and painted the image bothered me.
Fox said: "Children are often under the custody of abusive parents. "According to my research by 70 percent of all custody cases in California are mothers of children custody unique physical. Parents receive 10 percent of the time. (The mothers are the only countries in the physical custody 84 percent of the time.) If children are the custody of the parents of the violence, which are under the custody of abusive mothers as well. Mothers are more likely to harm a child. According to the Department U.S. Health and Human Services Administration for Children, Youth and Families, about two-fifths (40.8 percent) of child victims have been abandoned or abused by "their mothers alone." Only 18.8 percent were abused by their parents alone (and 17 percent of children have been abused or neglected by their mothers or both parents).
Fox testified about sexual abuse of child abuse. Custody over children is not relevant to the exploitation of child sexual, but words alone can be scary. I do not blame her. It wanted to win and is good at that. That's what he does for a living. organization Fox, by his own testimony that day, trains people in the family justice system and how to invoke prosecute cases of child sexual abuse. I care about victims of abuse also. I want to make sure no child is in danger of extinction. AB 1307, as most shared parenting bills, contained provisions to protect children who suffer abuse. It was a non-issue. But again, the issue of child abuse was raised.
I hate to Fox painted parents happens that perpetrators of incest, when in fact parents are least likely of all men to commit sexual abuse. The authors January 2005 Male violence against children. It is less likely than male authors to participate in other sexual abuse "Results NCANDS of parents, parents have on the lives of their children's protected.
This tactic, citing sexual abuse is similar to that of our opponents raise "people control" and abusive. These men are the minority. The same is true of men in the movement of men (not to be confused with the Father and the Movement for Family Rights), who want to completely eliminate maintenance children and those who want a return to patriarchy. Of course, they are there but do not represent the people I work with, people who fight for equality in child care. We are the parents of the Royal Family Rights and Movement.
And I do sometimes called the fight. It feels like when I face the same policy. At one time I had no idea it was to be pitted against those struggling for equality. This is America. The idea strikes me. I find it frustrating that the opponents of using sensationalism custody joint physical to "win" when it is most beneficial for our children when all honest and above board.
When I met the parent's Movement was by accident. My son had a child out of wedlock and I asked for help. His father had abandoned as a baby shortly after and I divorced. My son told me after the most important thing in his life was being a good parent. I wanted to be the best father I could be in any way possible. When he heard about 20 years will be a father and that marriage was not a possibility, I asked how to ensure that there was much of the life of your child. I had been successfully co-parenting with the father of her sister, a man who never married for 15 years, so we both knew that was possible. I am glad to see parents research and care for the baby's mother. Unfortunately, shortly after the birth of his daughter was hired a lawyer, my son received a summons to appear in family court, and the situation is contradictory. I went to watch online I learned without realizing it, step by step in the Father's Movement.
Shortly after I became involved in the movement I noticed there was an ongoing battle between a handful of radical patriarchs, called 'rights' parents angry militant feminists radicals and a handful of radical feminists, called "feminazis" by the radical patriarchs, with both sides throwing around accusations, insults, and statistics outdated and inaccurate to try to prove your side was right. I decided to do my own research to see what is really true. I'll admit I was disappointed by hostility. I can almost understand why the Parents 'Movement' "He has a bad reputation. I saw online messages like:" You might get lucky. The former might lose interest or beaten by a truck. "Oh, wait, that quote is not one of the fathers of the Movement website. It is from an anti-Fathers Movement website militant anti-garden of equality. The same woman who never met my friends from the Reform, or me, but sent a letter to my state legislators to call us "The rights of parents angry militants."
What I think I plunged into the labyrinth of misinformation is that both parts describe the same thing. Both parties filed the judicial system is broken. These quotes, which really depends on the judge, who GAL (guardian ad litem) or the evaluator is used and all the prejudices, he or they could have "and" what is not just about v. Attorney lawyers (or facts or laws or even the referees who are all key players), if the strategy is knowing which cases to bring before the judges, "in the same anti-Fathers Movement online forum. I have read statements Similar forums many times in the Parent Movement.
I naively assumed that since my son had a grandfather throughout pregnancy, and since the physical custody state joint force in our state for over 20 years would be treated as an equal to the mother of his child. I was surprised by what happened was before the court's family. She was prevented from having physical custody of his daughter equal to what might be called sexism. The lies were accepted as true, the physical evidence was ignored, "the interest of the child and no justice was served. I will never forget his anguish or trauma from my granddaughter. I knew that I could not turn away this kind of blatant bias and injustice.
It's been three years and I learned that injustice and pain my son went through is going to parents, not only through California, but throughout America, and even around the world. I learned that what one of the Fathers Movement has become a movement right off the family with the inclusion of noncustodial mothers, grandparents trying to get to their grandchildren in the family home, and families struggling with Child Protective Services, (SPC). And I learned that gender bias is not the only problem in the family courts.
I have the honor to be associated with lawyers, activists and reformers in more than a dozen countries including the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, Germany, Scotland, South Africa, New Zealand, Australia and Italy. I've heard hundreds of testimonials from parents. Everywhere, everywhere in the world of parents say the system is broken, it does not meet the needs of families today. Part of the confrontation problem is that the winner takes all the environment of the Family Court and is causing unnecessary conflict and hostility, financial devastation, and worst of all, the tragic separation of decent work, fit, loving parents to their children.
Many parents said they want both the physical and legal custody equality, but has joint legal custody. Instead of having quality time very important to find their children, instead of getting the respect they deserve and access to programs that are exclusively for the care of parents, parents without custody simply "the right of parents to make important decisions about children's health, education social protection and access "and" their children.
Jeffery Shipman, 44, a father from New York to 21 months, Deonna, can not see an end to his daughter weekends and one night a week. He said: "People often tell me now, it should be easier and easier now, huh Jeff? Always answer: "It is never easy … and you know, part of me, do not want this small amount of time one day become" easier " for me. Because if one day a week is more "Easy" to address and is considered "adjusted" to tell me I'm not doing my job as a father. It is very much against nature as a parent does not see my own son a week ago. "
Approximately one-third of the participants in the Fathers Movement or Family Rights Movement as some call it is women. Some are grandmothers like me, some are second wives or girlfriends. Others are professionals or ordinary citizens, and some are non-custodial mothers and Beverly Morris. Beverly, 39, lives in Florida with her husband and son, and non-custodial parent with two children in Pennsylvania. She said: "They're more than seven years and I still feel violated, angry, and severely deprived of my rights as a parent to raise (my) children. "Beverly is now founder and president National Association of Non-custodial mothers, Inc., an online support forum for parents without custody of both sexes emotional. She said: "I feel as the justice system does not care all that is in the best interests of the child, I do not care they still make money through hearing after of listening, a trap that I refuse to fall, and I refuse to put my children through. "
I heard that proponents of liberal custodial visits are sufficient to maintain a close relationship between parents and children, but do not take into account families who are forced to deal with takeout and remoteness. According to Rebecca Mackey, a married woman has custody of 27 years to one, "I lost part of my heart that was never repaired. The phases appear similar to people goes through after someone dies. The only difference is that you do not get to live and remember. You get to go on living knowing that you and I miss you need and can not do anything. There is no closure, only a constant burning pain in the soul a bit of yourself is absent. "
Parents who know in Parent's motion are ordinary, average parents, responsible, fit, loving parents only every day as if they are in your neighborhood. However, are completely prevents the education of their children. single parents, one-third of all babies born in this country are almost universally denied physical custody of their children. They said: "It's against policy" of mediators, lawyers and judges. Bill Sharp, 51, a father never married at age 14 in Illinois and Tasha 15 years old, Willy has lost joint physical custody after his former partner refuses to cooperate with the courts. Instead of giving custody to the father who was the most willing to facilitate a relationship between children and the other parent, the judge gave sole custody to the mother. Bill said he still remembers the judge in his case, saying: "Father must not be upset because that's how it ends in 90 percent of cases."
Bill Willy, the son said: "I am angry and confusing. I went to court and told the judge he wanted week. I have no bad parents. That what is right. This is the best thing I can think of. The judge said he would give me week after week. But he was taken away from me, even before and nobody said why. They should give reasons if it is going to take time with parents. Nobody gave me a reason mom gave me a reason "Him." – She said it was the best father. Mom told me that 50/50 is bad, but do not tell me why. She was always trying to convince me it was a bad 50/50 idea. "Willy then said the same thing, I thought," I do not understand why the commitments to be punished. "
Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author parent and the child told the meeting: "The struggle to be the primary parent is not a maternal instinct – or paternal instinct – an instinct of territoriality. Any mother a sense of maternal instinct that children need their mother and father because the children are his mother and father. In case of absence or lack of that half of themselves. Children who most need the stability of the two halves which are the children of divorce, especially those of children whose parents are in most conflicts. "
Bill adds: "Ask any kid what he wants in a solution of the custody and say they want both their mother and father and they will tell they want too. Why? Well, mostly because that is really what they want. But most children have been drilled in equity from their parents, and school and church, and education of their models on the right path in life. "
Jamil Jabr, who has been divorced for two years and has a son, participated in the organization of Parents-4-Justice of the United States. Worked to create the group as a recognized non-profit, charitable organization. His intention is to support the neutral civil rights movement in the United States fighting for equal custody. Jamil, who lives in Minnesota, said, "Replacing the physical custody presumption who has joint physical custody eliminates the need for a winner and a loser. It does not take much to change the presumption so that everyone can be a winner especially children, families and the company, once the people's voice rises to special vested interests and speculators who, fortunately, are a minority, but, unfortunately, very strong and resistant to change. "
A lie that is repeated in custody is that he is forced 50/50. This is not true. Most parents, including those in the movement, realizing that it is an unrealistic timeshare gap exactly in the middle. The child's age, relationship with parents before the custody hearing, the work schedule of each parent, are all things that should be taken into account by both parents. When listening to "maintain equality" which means that parents are equal, not necessarily time. From the moment you sit down at the negotiating table for the day when the judge makes his order, must be equal Current system and family court, are not.
Adryenn Ashley, a film producer Twentieth Century with 21 Republican Party is one of the women in the movement. Live in California with her husband and 2-year-old son. Adryenn experienced the injustice of the family justice system firsthand while helping her husband in his case a previous marriage. Since then he has been filming a documentary about the family courts and how they impact families in the United States. Family Council Alliance a nonprofit corporation organization that promotes a positive image of families and responsible role models, funding for the documentary. Adryenn observed: "We can improve the future of our children, but we must put aside our own personal prejudices and work for real children's interest. And I think we all agree that a machine with thousands sucking benefit of millions of dollars in the pockets of taxpayers, thereby reducing the amount available to finance future generations, it is of interest to anyone. "
According to Ronald Rohner and Robert Veneziano authors of "The Importance of Father Love: History and Contemporary Evidence," (Journal General Psychology 5.4, 2001), "Having a loving and caring father is so important to the happiness of a child welfare and social and academic success, having a mother loving and nurturing. "I am pleased to announce that my son and daughter of the mother co-parent successfully. They communicate frequently and positively about your child, both remain Flexible drop off and pick the hours and days, and my granddaughter shows the advantage of knowing that both parents still love and are never far away, or out for long.
Wendy Sheppard, 34, a social worker and life coach who has joint custody of their 8-year-old son told me: "We have a week/week off agreement custody in which we see our son every day, no matter where you sleep. My clients and friends often point to how "lucky" I have a mutual agreement my ex. I do not consider myself "lucky." Do what is best for my son because he is of him, not me. It's not luck – it is to put my personal feelings aside and do what is best for my son. "
When asked, the public has shown overwhelming support for shared parenting and equal custody. As reported by parents and families (www.fathersandfamilies.org) in November 2004, 37 districts in Massachusetts had a non-binding question asking whether voters supported the custody shared. With more than 600,000 votes cast, 86 percent of voters said "Yes." In Michigan recently, Detroit News conducted an online survey asks: "For parents who are divorced, the courts must be shared in one of Michigan the same responsibility for the care the norm? Again, 86 percent of respondents voted "Yes."
Michigan Families and Fathers Conference, healing our families, a time for change has a place at Detroit Metro Airport on June 17 and 18. For more information, write to the Coalition for Family Rights to [email protected], call 734.322.2974 or visit the website www.fathers05.org vox.
What I learned in the last three years in the movement is that children want equal access to both parents and parents of both sexes to want equal access to their children. I learned that studies show that children adjust better to divorce when they maintain the same level of contact with their parents as they did before the divorce and in some cases, parents can share actually reduce parental conflict. I learned that other parents are not married could successfully co-parent, even if they do not think he could. And I learned that society supports shared parenting and equal custody. To answer the question of why parents I work in the movement, I'm here, to tell the truth.
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